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Monday, May 26, 2008
 Yes, I pity myself at times. Cos I'm always the one who do all the shit for you. It's raining today, after I had my starbuck. It's freezing cold, and I'm walking under the rain. I pity myself. I really pity me alot. Nobody know how I'm feeling. Why you can have everything? No, you dont. You just have what I dont have. Yes, I should cherish what I have now. At least of admiring people who dont have what I already had. All along, I had been taking every tiny things for granted. I ought to be appreciative. I'll change, for the better. I swear. I feel like a kid, yearning for independence. Isit mama giving alot? For my age? A kid who think she think maturely when she dont. A kid who try to deal with things she cant even managed. I want to grow up, badly. I dont wanna stuck in a 15 year old body and a 5 year old brain. I always think I had already grown up. Nobody should poke their nose in my business. But for now, I want somebody to guide me along this empty path. I dreaded aloneness. This is all grown up faced. It is a fact, a reality. Today, when I try doing everything alone. I realised something. Actually I can do plenty of things myself. I supposed this is what a woman will feel. Everyday, I'm learning. This's a process, for growing up. Amazing. (Yesterday's picture is gross. Haha! ) |
